Greetings and salutations rugby cosmos, it’s Friday and you recognize what meaning? It’s Friday Rugby Information time once more!
Earlier than we begin with Friday’s standard excellence, a giant thanks to Yowie for filling in final week. The legendary beast actually stepped as much as the plate. Particularly as he solely had 4 days, 13 hours & 83 minutes discover. Thanks for making an attempt Yowser.
Right this moment we don’t wish to look, however can’t look away both in ‘Like Waterboarding Bambi’. Run a watch over the Wallaby squad for the rugby championship in ‘Guess Who’s Again’. Problem the norms of decency and good style with ‘An Unholy Alliance’. Launch your internal Molly Meldrum for ‘Crap Anthems’. And wrap all of it up with ‘Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss‘, now questioning if these feminine Chinese language swimmers with beards and baritone voices could have over indulged a contact on ‘Australian meat’. Hmmmmm.
Like Waterboarding Bambi.
What simply occurred?
Have you ever ever witnessed one thing so traumatic, so surprising and incomprehensible, you don’t realise your standing there, mouth open, startled look in your face, caught in a second of time you simply can’t grasp or start to grasp in any respect? Sort of a ‘surprised stupor’ or as I prefer to name it, Coinslander resting face.
What simply occurred?
Our ladies’s 7’s aspect had been merely gorgeous, elegant and excellent of their first 4 video games. Truly, they had been goddamn electrical. There was scorching tempo, real physicality that result in impenetrable defence. Maddi Levi was scoring tries for enjoyable. Caslick was like an orchestra conductor on the high of her recreation. Paki was a menace within the air, with the ball and in defence. Religion Nathan was a continuing menace. Teaghan Levi was crafty and artful and all over the place on the paddock.
Certainly future beckoned. Then the semi finals arrived.
What simply occurred?
From 12-zip up in opposition to the Canucks, the sport took an unimaginable aboot face, that one way or the other noticed the women each lose the match and lose any likelihood of gold. 21-12.
What simply occurred?
With their rugby souls and gold medal desires shredded, the women mud off to face the Seppo’s for the bronze. A pair of Levi’s mix to attain and with solely 30 seconds to go absolutely the bronze is ours proper? Proper? RIGHT?
What simply occurred?
Three missed tackles on the one participant later and it’s throughout. Extremely. Unbelievably. Prematurely. Over.
Who wrote the ending to this shite? That wasn’t the way it was meant to be. What rugby deity did they offend? What stone had been unturned on their journey. What proper did anybody need to take the pre-ordained gold that was absolutely deserved?
What simply occurred?
Destiny, likelihood, fatigue and primary errors mixed to rob our group of a future that we might almost style. A future these athletes deserved. A future us followers craved. A future that can perpetually be unfulfilled.
What simply occurred?
I’ll let you know what simply occurred. We simply watched the equal of Bambi get waterboarded. Head dunked, legs flailing, combating for survival with each ounce, solely to see all hope fade and seep away in a collapsed heap on the ground. Our women ache was visceral and intestine wrenching. It was harrowing, surprising, jarring and one thing I hope to by no means witness once more. They deserved a lot greater than they obtained. However generally sport is only a actual mo-fo.
That’s what occurred.
Guess Who’s Again.
‘Guess who’s again, again once more. Rassie’s again, inform Nic Bez’
The Wallaby squad to complete third within the upcoming Rugby Championship has been introduced and there are a number of choice surprises, versus real choice ‘shocks’.
There are some gamers returning to the squad after harm in Gus ‘The Bull’ Bell and Mad Max Jorgo. One would think about The Bull & Mad Max usually tend to be coaching members solely? You couldn’t welcome Bell again by chucking him on in opposition to the Catholics first up might you? As for Jorgenson, he hasn’t executed anyplace close to sufficient to unplace any of the OB’s from the Welsh sequence up to now.
On the ‘recent harm’ entrance, Fraser McPies (getting a bit chunky there F-Mac) is out after having thumb surgical procedure (possibly he bit it whereas hoeing right into a steak and onion maggot-bag?). Captain #36 over the past 12 months, Wrongaz Wright having shoulder surgical procedure and Langi Gleeson (syndesmosis) additionally each out of the RC squad.
St Joe has invited Marika ‘I hate Eddie Jones as coach’ Koroibete again into the fold. And for me he’s considerably fortunate to be in in any respect. Though he upset Saffa followers along with his authorized deal with in 2022 on Bok flyer Makazole ‘give the cash to’ Mapimpi. So something that irritates South Africans (like democracy, low fats yoghurt bars and quiet, understated opinions) is okay with me.
On the newby entrance, it’s nice to see Seru Uru, Luke Reimer & Carlos Tizzano make the squad. Uru seems to be all class and for my part was unfortunate to not function in opposition to Wales. Tizzano and Reimer are precisely the kind of pit bulls you wish to unleash in opposition to the Boks. They love the tough stuff, have a streak of mongrel in them, are nice over the ball and I sit up for seeing them get a run.
One participant I’m quite excited to see get a run, is Brumbies & 7’s flyer is Corey Toole. Toole was excellent in France and has been for the final two years in SRP. Though not a person of measurement, who actually cares when you’ll be able to gasoline it like he does. You simply have to look as Cheslin Kolbe for example of what could be achieved. Go nicely Toole.
These to make approach from the squad embrace: Alex Hodgman, Charlie Cale, Darby Lancaster, Ryan Smith (head scratcher) and David Feliuai.
Our lot tackle the Saffa’s back-to-back throughout two weeks with a Saturday arvo recreation in Brisbane tenth August 2pm. Adopted by a visit to Western Jo’burg aka Perth, Saturday seventeenth August.
Forwards (19)
Allan Alaalatoa, Angus Bell, Angus Blyth, Matt Faessler, Nick Frost, Tom Hooper, Isaac Kailea, Josh Nasser, Zane Nonggorr, Billy Pollard, Luke Reimer*, Lukhan Salakaia-Loto, James Slipper, Carlo Tizzano*, Taniela Tupou, Seru Uru*, Rob Valetini, Jeremy Williams, Harry Wilson.
Backs (17)
Filipo Daugunu, Ben Donaldson, Josh Flook, Jake Gordon, Len Ikitau, Max Jorgensen*, Andrew Kellaway, Marika Koroibete, Noah Lolesio, Tom Lynagh, Tate McDermott, Hunter Paisami, Dylan Pietsch, Hamish Stewart*, Corey Toole*, Nic White, Tom Wright.
An Unholy Alliance
They mentioned it couldn’t occur. Thy mentioned it was ‘unnatural’ and in opposition to frequent decency and the legal guidelines of nature. A vile abomination that would wreck the very material of society.
However it has occurred anyway.
In a Friday Rugby Information scoop, I can affirm G&GR’s personal darkish arts and sith lord, Professor Nutta shall be becoming a member of our resident ref -Kiwi-Aussie when it fits, KARL, and two very particular visitors: Massive Harry Jones of The Roar and rugby journo doyen (he insisted I say that, bloody prima donna) Mr Brett McKay of the ‘8-9 Combo Rugby Podcast’ for a podcast world unique.
The superior foursome will collect around the digital fire subsequent week to debate all issues Rugby Championship. From squads chosen, gamers of curiosity, seemingly techniques and fearless predictions. You possibly can catch all of it right here subsequent Wednesday for the G&GR 8-9 Combo joint podcast.
Massive shout of to Furry & Brett for making time from their busy schedules to affix us at G&GR for the broadcasting extravaganza.
Crap Anthems.
There’s nothing fairly like a nations personal nationwide anthem is there.
A track to encapsulate the very essence of what it means to belong to your tribe. Whether or not your own home be girt by sea, otherwise you beseech an imaginary sky dwelling being, to guard the descendants of an inbred German royal dynasty. Otherwise you clutch your left breast and bedazzle the rockets crimson glare. Or possibly you one in all our dearest pacific neighbours, and have fun with ‘heat moonlight over my horizon, she’s a slice of heaven to me’. Anthems are designed to stir nationwide pleasure. To gird the loins, summon deep braveness and name on these bonds of belonging, as you put together to cost yonder into enemies each identified and unknown.
I can really feel my loins girding now.
However what occurs when the supply of mentioned battle cry is simply so terrible it makes you snigger? Shouldn’t we then be upset when the material of what it means to be ‘X’ is so fully butchered, each domestically & on international shore alike?
Which leads me properly to ‘what’s the worst supply of an anthem you have got witnessed? Doesn’t have to be at a rugby recreation. However when did you final sit again and chuckle and go ‘nicely, that was a bucket of pig swill.
Right here’s my three to kick you off:
- Nearlies v Fiji in San Diego July 2024 San Diego Soprano singing Kiwi anthem
- Wallabies v FISM’s Argentina 2018 – Advance Australia Truthful in Argentina
- France taking part in South Africa 2009- South African ditty
What’s your favorite worst anthem?
Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss.
Brisbane Sucks.
So says former head coach who pretended to not be head coach, Rassie Erasmus, when speaking concerning the Dutch Grime Farmers win loss document within the Banana Republic. A metropolis they’ve misplaced 11 of their earlier 12 matches
Me thinks fortress Suncorp could also be in peril of dropping it’s mystique although, with the Saffa’s naming a squad of 33, that features a mere 22 world cup winners. Yikes.
Penney Drops.
stuff.co.nz report failed Tahs coach, now failed Crusaders coach, Rob Penney has didn’t be dropped after failing final 12 months. So technically, he’s failed once more.
The article says an unbiased overview got here up with solely ’53 motion gadgets’. Yep, simply 53. I’d have thought one merchandise would suffice: ‘wen extra bluddy gums cuz’.
Anybody like a wager that if the Saders are 0-3 subsequent 12 months that teaching hids would possibly rull early?
Japanese Paranoia.
Information from planetrugby.com that TJ Paranoia is off to the land of the rising financial institution steadiness subsequent 12 months to chase the cabbage. TJ pressured his approach again into the brand new, principally white jersey of the previous All Black sporting jersey aspect this season, earlier than getting hit by pleasant fireplace and lacking a number of video games injured. Regardless of his betrayal, Paranoia stays a part of Razors plans for the RC,
The Kiwi Collective
The Kiwis RC squad has been named: superrugbypacific.com.au has extra
Argie Bargie.
The FISMs RC squad can be out: superrugbypacific.com.au has extra
Sideshow Massive Present.
Congrats to Sideshow Bob Valentini for his latest win of The Brett Robinson players-player award for the Brumbies for a second time. Biola Dawa was additionally named the Helen Taylor players-player. Dawa just lately made her Wallaroos debut as nicely, capping off a particular 12 months for the Brumby.
Barge Arse a Tah.
Former Mexican Insurgent Rob ‘barge arse’ Leota, was unveiled this week as a Tah and don’t he look simply grand in sky blue! The large man is on the restoration path at current, however will be part of the Tahs from 2025.
It caps a giant week for the NSW aspect with Darby Lancaster, Angelo Smith (large fan of this younger man) and Australian born Hurricane lock Ben Grant returning to the sunburnt nation. Lancaster apart, there’s some measurement in these three signings. Ben Grant alone stands at 205cm and over 120kgs.
With the upcoming announcement of The Abattoir transferring to gods chosen aspect, to affix Barge Arse, Massive Ben, Gus Bell, Porky Porecki, Gamble, Heaven & co, its nice information for the Tahs and an actual boon for native beef producers and butcher outlets alike.
That’s quiet a decent 5 Chuckles McKellar is assembling. Truly, I could have simply dribbled a bit in anticipation. Go you Blue issues.
Till we subsequent meet.
Hoss – out.